Until I learnt how to control my thoughts, my mind would wander and over think the unimaginable, I would try to stop but, to me over thinking was like a windy day and not blinking. I would fight to be happy and not think about my current situation however, my mind would drag me into a thought conflicting state. I remember going for dinner with friends and sitting there pretending to be happy. My smile was once my armour that Shielded my trauma and protected me from what I didn’t want the outside world to know so, a smile is what I used to shield and protect me.
I used the word trauma as this is the only word that can effectively describe my mental state and it rhymed with armour (Obviously).
Most people think if you take time off or go on holiday, that your body has had time to relax however, both the body and mind need to rest. You can take a lot of time off from work to go on holiday and still come back with the problems you left with. The first step to resting is controlling your thoughts and balancing your mind. If your mind doesn’t rest you won’t feel relaxed.
If anything, I have learnt from glancing back at my past, it is to work on myself and put me first. its ok to take care of you. Put yourself in a positive place to reflect and do well. Be patient with your endeavours, remind yourself that you are a work in progress and what is for you will not pass you by. I can honestly say, when I was ready to move on from feeling sad/depressed, I began spending more time with myself and through solitude I gained clarity. I stripped away at pieces of me and took time to work on and with who made me happy as well as increased methods of spirituality; meditation.
Meditation was something that helped put things into perspective, as when your minds on constant rotation, you learn to let thoughts come and go; It’s a new found inner peace.
Lastly, take care of you! Follow your emotions if it feels good go with it, if not then don’t. it’s as simple as that. Our emotions tend to guide us; when we pay attention. Also, its OK to say no. If you’re not feeling up to something or going somewhere then say no. Let your no be no, and don’t take anything personally.
Athletic cerebrum is a verb for my brain; agile is my mind. I needed to learn how to stretch my horizons before strength training my mental capabilities, so this title is well matched with my mentality.
-D. Edwards | www.pain2poetry.com